Behavior modification

I'm not proud of my behavior at times, but it doesn't seem to be improving, so I am getting used to it. At least that's something.

Today I was called a Witch.
I come from a long line of witches... My mother was called one in high school because she wouldn't go out with some guy. My sister was a self professed witch of the Salem MA coven.

So being called a witch is hereditary, I guess. My accuser today was a very nice, perfectly coiffed, blonde from a bottle, upper class white woman in a white Cadillac SUV who was parked (with the engine running) in "No Parking Fire Lane" zone at the local store.

It was pouring rain and the rest of us had to go around the car to get to the store entrance. Her husband, the driver, was inside buying 3 bunches of cheap roses. I had time to do all of my shopping, get a coffee, check out, and go back in to get a paper and check out again in the time it took that fellow to buy those roses. Engine running.

The second trip into the store, I not so politely pointed to the no parking sign and said, "Can't you read?" Apparently she could not. Her husband was technologically illiterate, because he could not work a self check out... Bless his heart. He stood in a long line to get those cheap roses... while his wife waited in the fire lane. Engine running.

Now clearly, if I was a witch, I would have put a hex on her sweet southern self. Or said something cool in Latin, like "Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me, il nome mio nessun saprà!"

A real witch would have moved the car 50 feet North so the rest of us could get by without getting wetter. I would at least have taken the curl out of her perfect hairdo. But as a non-witch, I could only wave and wish her a nice day. Which I did.

But my initiation into the familial coven was a point of pride, so I left the store feeling a sense of unity with all of the other witches in the world who simply want other folks to stop throwing their wealth around like they own the planet and show a little respect footer the rest of the planet.

Park in the lines. Turn off the car. Don't impede the movement of others when it's raining out. Buy better flowers if you're wealthy. Better still, buy lunch for the homeless guy on the corner. Which I did.

Noblesse oblige, e pluribus unum, ipso facto, and all of that. Be the witch your mother taught you to be.